Ok.. that title is a little weird.. but eh, it's cute. ;]
Well, Spring Break offically starts today! Woo! [does happy dance] And you guys can definately tell I am hyper.
I don't have plans for S.B. this year... all I know is that I have to work and it sucks, but it pays. haha
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Trust… is that such a great thing? I guess it could be if you didn't abuse it, like majorities of people do. Kind of ironic in a weird sense, you want someone to trust you, yet in return, you are the one breaking the trust you want. I'm guilty of it and I have no problem admitting that, but so many people I know do and don't want to admit that they have problems trusting people.
Not just a problem with trusting people, but with knowing that other people more than likely don't trust them. Trust to me is hard to accept, earn, and understand. Maybe not accept, but then again it is. Only because I've had to go through so many things to understand it and accept it. I still don't even have complete trust with some of my best friends. Sad I know, but like I said… I have a hard time accepting trust.
Hmm.. what else can I say about trust?... There really isn't much to say about it… It is what it is and that's all it is going to be.
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Liars… great people aren't they? Oh yeah, great people. NOT! They stab you in the back just so they can either bring you down to their level, make you turn on someone, or do it just to make you feel bad and bring you down. Why are there people out there like that? Is it because they choose to be, or is it because they have no choice?
Me personally, I have no clue… but all I know is that I'm one and it's hard not to be. I've been one since I was a little kid, maybe about the age of 4. Not as early as some, but it's early. I'm not as bad as I used to be. When I did lie, I used to make up things to make myself seem more likeable, or to get myself noticed. Only because back when I was in Elementary to Junior High, I wasn't the kid everyone knew and liked. I was the kid that was a loner that always hung out with the guys, because I wasn't as popular as the girls and I had no girlfriends. That has all changed now that I am in High School.
But like they've always said, "A little white lie will only get bigger and bigger." Isn't that the truth…? If you don't think, then just think back to your very first lie. The first one you ever remember telling and then think to now. When was the last time you told a lie? Was it 5 minutes ago, today, yesterday? You may not think that the phrase follows you in the least bit, but think about it. Once you told your first lie, you told another, and another. Didn't you? Thought so. It's not that hard to come up with one, and if you can pick them out, they aren't that hard to find.
Have you ever had someone tell you a lie that hurt you so much you cried? I have. Just yesterday actually. A friend told me news that I just did not want to hear, and it broke me down inside. When I confronted the person I heard the news of, they told me a different story. They basically (without me having to tell you the details) said that they never did that and someone was lying on them, yet… I get that same feeling when I heard them say that. I am here with two different stories and I now know that two, possibly three people are lying to me, and I don't know which person it is.
I'm just tired of being lied to and being so gullible to what everyone says, but that's just me and I can't help what I am. Just as I said in my previous blog Love, I feel used. More used now that I know people are lying to me for useless reasons. I hate that in which I hate myself for one little thing. A little thing that I could have prevented.
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LOVE… what a wonderful word. But that's just it… it's a wonder. Everyone wonders what their love will be like whether he or she will be the best person they meet and get to know, or if they will be hurtful, abandoning, a never-ending being of struggle.
We all at some point in time, whether we realize it or not, imagine our perfect 'love.' A perfect love… that would be nice, but not as nice as you'd think. If everything in your love life was perfect, it would get boring... so boring you would most likely do something that will break your 'perfectness' in the relationship. Me, I have to have something go wrong. Nothing too serious, but something. An argument over something small, stupid, unneeded. You see, if you and yours got through an argument, it would only bring you two closer together. You know? But then again… it could tear you apart.
I know I'm ranting about all of this love stuff, but just think about it. Have you ever felt like you were in love with someone? Ever felt like you became happy when you were with this one person, even if you only passed by them? When you talked to this person you could go to them and tell them almost everything? I know I have, and I love that feeling. That's how I knew I was in love, but it all came down in one big disaster and I hate it… I feel alone and in a way, used.
(This one isn't as long or filled as the other three, but it's good enough for now until I can get more out of me and onto here. I hope you enjoy because I know some of you have asked me if I'm going to put out anymore blogs.)
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Stories.. a dime a dozen. Everyone has them, even if you dont think you do. Me? Yeah, Ive got them. Ive got millions. I would tell you all of them, but I just dont think Ive got the time or, I guess, the imagination capacity. You have read two or maybe three of them already. Now, youre probably saying, No way. What stories is she talking about?
Relax. I wasnt talking about actual stories that you would read to a child or someone (although you may). I was referring to MY stories. Ones that I wrote from me. My mind, my heart. Let me put out a random example Hmm Lets say my blog Drama Bullshit. Yeah, Ive talked about it so much, but its the best example I can give you all of something that I wrote. Not just something that I thought would be an interesting read, but that I thought might change some peoples minds about things. Although I doubt it did, because I definitely havent seen any change. Oh well I guess I did my small part to try and change the world. Ha-ha Right me, change the world with that little blog, but anyway.. back to the main topic. What was it?... Oh yeah! Stories.. Sorry, I lost myself there in something that might become a new blog. Nah.
So, a story or stories. I guess I could tell you all a story of recent happenings. I wont make this all strung out and long, but then again knowing me and how I like to write things down I might.
Now where to begin. I guess I could start here at home. It sucks here.. I feel like Im a prisoner in my own home. I cant go out with friends (even though sometimes I dont want to), go places I want to. Hell, I bet for my 16th I wont be able to go where I want to go and see who I want to see. My family has to be there and watch my every move. And I mean every move. (Oh and about the 16th thing, yeah, Im 15, but not in a couple of months! Oh yeah! Ha-ha.) Anyways, I bet a lot of you feel like that. I know I do, and whomever reads this knows too.
As some of you know, I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 5 months, 3 weeks, and 2 days. Only 3 days away from our 6 months. We are still talking, but it bugs me that my friends (and you know who you are) dont like me talking to him. My family is even that way! My mother recently told me that I need to stay and/or get away from him. Hes not good for me, and I know some of my friends think that too. All of this time that Ive heard this, in my head Im telling myself to just blow them off and tell them to go get fucked, but I could never get it out. I just held it in. Ive had one breaking point happen, and Im just waiting for the next one to come around. This one I am looking forward to. When this one comes around I hope everyone is getting ready to get their reality checks and their feelings hurt, because Im not sparing anything.
So I guess that is all for now about this, and dont you even tell me that I have no life because I do. It may not be the best one, but I have one. Mine, so let me live it, and leave me the hell alone about my personal life. If I want you to know something Ill tell you. Okay? Good. You understand that now I hope.
Wow, this blog had a complete 180. I went all over that one well. What I typed and told you is what I mean. So, thats really it for now.
From your blog crazed writer and imaginer,
Samantha J. a.k.a. SaJe
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SaJeS / Blog
Springy Breaky
Ok.. that title is a little weird.. but eh, it's cute. ;] Well, Spring Break offically starts today! Woo! [does happy dance] And you guys can definately tell I am hyper. I don't have plans for S.B. this year... all I know is that I have to work and it sucks, but it pays. haha
Reply
Trust
Trust… is that such a great thing? I guess it could be if you didn't abuse it, like majorities of people do. Kind of ironic in a weird sense, you want someone to trust you, yet in return, you are the one breaking the trust you want. I'm guilty of it and I have no problem admitting that, but so many people I know do and don't want to admit that they have problems trusting people. Not just a problem with trusting people, but with knowing that other people more than likely don't trust them. Trust to me is hard to accept, earn, and understand. Maybe not accept, but then again it is. Only because I've had to go through so many things to understand it and accept it. I still don't even have complete trust with some of my best friends. Sad I know, but like I said… I have a hard time accepting trust. Hmm.. what else can I say about trust?... There really isn't much to say about it… It is what it is and that's all it is going to be.
Reply
Liars
Liars… great people aren't they? Oh yeah, great people. NOT! They stab you in the back just so they can either bring you down to their level, make you turn on someone, or do it just to make you feel bad and bring you down. Why are there people out there like that? Is it because they choose to be, or is it because they have no choice? Me personally, I have no clue… but all I know is that I'm one and it's hard not to be. I've been one since I was a little kid, maybe about the age of 4. Not as early as some, but it's early. I'm not as bad as I used to be. When I did lie, I used to make up things to make myself seem more likeable, or to get myself noticed. Only because back when I was in Elementary to Junior High, I wasn't the kid everyone knew and liked. I was the kid that was a loner that always hung out with the guys, because I wasn't as popular as the girls and I had no girlfriends. That has all changed now that I am in High School. But like they've always said, "A little white lie will only get bigger and bigger." Isn't that the truth…? If you don't think, then just think back to your very first lie. The first one you ever remember telling and then think to now. When was the last time you told a lie? Was it 5 minutes ago, today, yesterday? You may not think that the phrase follows you in the least bit, but think about it. Once you told your first lie, you told another, and another. Didn't you? Thought so. It's not that hard to come up with one, and if you can pick them out, they aren't that hard to find. Have you ever had someone tell you a lie that hurt you so much you cried? I have. Just yesterday actually. A friend told me news that I just did not want to hear, and it broke me down inside. When I confronted the person I heard the news of, they told me a different story. They basically (without me having to tell you the details) said that they never did that and someone was lying on them, yet… I get that same feeling when I heard them say that. I am here with two different stories and I now know that two, possibly three people are lying to me, and I don't know which person it is. I'm just tired of being lied to and being so gullible to what everyone says, but that's just me and I can't help what I am. Just as I said in my previous blog Love, I feel used. More used now that I know people are lying to me for useless reasons. I hate that in which I hate myself for one little thing. A little thing that I could have prevented.
Reply
Love
LOVE… what a wonderful word. But that's just it… it's a wonder. Everyone wonders what their love will be like whether he or she will be the best person they meet and get to know, or if they will be hurtful, abandoning, a never-ending being of struggle. We all at some point in time, whether we realize it or not, imagine our perfect 'love.' A perfect love… that would be nice, but not as nice as you'd think. If everything in your love life was perfect, it would get boring... so boring you would most likely do something that will break your 'perfectness' in the relationship. Me, I have to have something go wrong. Nothing too serious, but something. An argument over something small, stupid, unneeded. You see, if you and yours got through an argument, it would only bring you two closer together. You know? But then again… it could tear you apart. I know I'm ranting about all of this love stuff, but just think about it. Have you ever felt like you were in love with someone? Ever felt like you became happy when you were with this one person, even if you only passed by them? When you talked to this person you could go to them and tell them almost everything? I know I have, and I love that feeling. That's how I knew I was in love, but it all came down in one big disaster and I hate it… I feel alone and in a way, used. (This one isn't as long or filled as the other three, but it's good enough for now until I can get more out of me and onto here. I hope you enjoy because I know some of you have asked me if I'm going to put out anymore blogs.)
Reply
Stories
Stories.. a dime a dozen. Everyone has them, even if you dont think you do. Me? Yeah, Ive got them. Ive got millions. I would tell you all of them, but I just dont think Ive got the time or, I guess, the imagination capacity. You have read two or maybe three of them already. Now, youre probably saying, No way. What stories is she talking about? Relax. I wasnt talking about actual stories that you would read to a child or someone (although you may). I was referring to MY stories. Ones that I wrote from me. My mind, my heart. Let me put out a random example Hmm Lets say my blog Drama Bullshit. Yeah, Ive talked about it so much, but its the best example I can give you all of something that I wrote. Not just something that I thought would be an interesting read, but that I thought might change some peoples minds about things. Although I doubt it did, because I definitely havent seen any change. Oh well I guess I did my small part to try and change the world. Ha-ha Right me, change the world with that little blog, but anyway.. back to the main topic. What was it?... Oh yeah! Stories.. Sorry, I lost myself there in something that might become a new blog. Nah. So, a story or stories. I guess I could tell you all a story of recent happenings. I wont make this all strung out and long, but then again knowing me and how I like to write things down I might. Now where to begin. I guess I could start here at home. It sucks here.. I feel like Im a prisoner in my own home. I cant go out with friends (even though sometimes I dont want to), go places I want to. Hell, I bet for my 16th I wont be able to go where I want to go and see who I want to see. My family has to be there and watch my every move. And I mean every move. (Oh and about the 16th thing, yeah, Im 15, but not in a couple of months! Oh yeah! Ha-ha.) Anyways, I bet a lot of you feel like that. I know I do, and whomever reads this knows too. As some of you know, I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 5 months, 3 weeks, and 2 days. Only 3 days away from our 6 months. We are still talking, but it bugs me that my friends (and you know who you are) dont like me talking to him. My family is even that way! My mother recently told me that I need to stay and/or get away from him. Hes not good for me, and I know some of my friends think that too. All of this time that Ive heard this, in my head Im telling myself to just blow them off and tell them to go get fucked, but I could never get it out. I just held it in. Ive had one breaking point happen, and Im just waiting for the next one to come around. This one I am looking forward to. When this one comes around I hope everyone is getting ready to get their reality checks and their feelings hurt, because Im not sparing anything. So I guess that is all for now about this, and dont you even tell me that I have no life because I do. It may not be the best one, but I have one. Mine, so let me live it, and leave me the hell alone about my personal life. If I want you to know something Ill tell you. Okay? Good. You understand that now I hope. Wow, this blog had a complete 180. I went all over that one well. What I typed and told you is what I mean. So, thats really it for now. From your blog crazed writer and imaginer, Samantha J. a.k.a. SaJe
Reply